I…love this.

I’m really, really, really proud of this.

I’m really, really, really proud of this.


Animalize

Is it bad that I enjoy playing Postal II as much as I do?

In case you were unaware, Postal is a mass murder simulator in which you can

  • set people on fire with gas and matches, causing their skin to melt away
  • decapitate police officers with shovels
  • use stray cats to silence your shotgun
  • assassinate Gary Coleman
  • smoke crack to regain health
  • urinate on a victim begging for mercy

The novelty of slaughtering a high school marching band and the semi-realistic arterial spray that comes after a beheading has yet to wear off—in fact, I enjoy it just as much as I did two years ago when Sam gave me the game. I like to kick the bodies around while their bodies empty, just to see how much gore I can spread around.

“My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn’t want to upset him.”
— Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts
“Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention.”
— Abraham Lincoln

Cauterize

I’m so sick of children.

Not the kid with runny noises, missing teeth, and chocolate up to their elbows: those are the children that I love.

I’m talking about the children paying almost $15,000 a year to come my university to drink shitty beer and smoke shitty cigarettes, to fuck and lie to each other, just to prove that they’re all grown up.

*sigh*

“I was in a fucking coma!”
— Purple, BOTSM

Specialize

After almost a year of study, I’ve managed to find a research speciality: the age of imperialism.

Caribbean colonization. The French Revolution. The Haitian Revolution. Napoleon’s France. Absolutism. Nationalism.

It makes me prodigiously happy to finally declare a field of study.

And the best part?

Delaney said I’m the only nationalism/imperialism scholar here :)

Something about this song makes it harder to hate people.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]